Series: Love Glue
Message: Glue Stick: Apply With Care
Preacher: Japhet De Oliveira
Reflection: Mike Speegle
Live Wonder: Zan Long
Live Adventure: Zan Long
Live Beyond: Brandon Kharns
Live Purpose: Vanessa Rivera
Editor: Becky De Oliveira

Refresh: Begin with prayer. Ask for the Holy Spirit to open your heart to new understanding and for God’s character to be revealed.

Read: Ephesians 5:21-33 in the English Standard Version (ESV). Note 1–3 insights or questions.

Reflect: In this whole passage about submission, and who ought to do it to whom, Paul throws in a detail, a statement, a quote, that seems out of place. It seems out of place because it is; it doesn’t fit the context, it isn’t “on topic.” Here it is: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church (Verses 31-32).

Paul switches from talking to husbands and the love they are supposed to live out towards their brides, and he throws in this passage from Genesis 2:24. But it’s not to remind us of the commitment we made on our wedding day (I don’t think they were quoting this passage at their weddings back then); it seems to be about Jesus and His incarnation. What does that have to do with who is supposed to submit to whom?

Everything.

Paul is saying that Jesus is so connected with the church that they (together) are one. That should make you feel a little uncomfortable because it is uncomfortable to think that we can be one with Jesus. But it’s a great thing to be uncomfortable about.

Matthew Clarke comments on this passage:

He shall be glued or cemented to her; and, as a well-glued board will sooner break in the whole wood than in the glued joint, so death alone can part the husband and wife.

What if this is really true? That Jesus has done and continues to do everything He can to love and care for His bride, the one who is one with Him.  

That’s why Paul says this is a “megav” (great, high, loud, large, exceedingly) mega-mystery: why He would do that—but Paul says He did. It’s a detail that leaves us scratching our heads and praising our Lord.

Recalibrate: What if it’s true that Jesus is stuck on you? If Christ loves the church so much that he gave up himself for her, shouldn’t we also?

Respond: What’s the appropriate way to respond to the oneness Jesus has committed to with you?

Research: Here’s a science-based take on helping your relationship stick.

Remember: “Be willing to obey each other. Do this because you respect Christ” (Ephesians 5:21, ICB).

Mike Speegle is the lead pastor for New Hope, an exciting, young, multi-ethnic Adventist Church in Fulton, Maryland. Mike became a follower of Jesus and an Adventist in his early 20s. Pacific Union College was the first Adventist school he ever attended; he met his wife Lorie there. Mike has pastored for 30+ years, served in the Ministerial Association of the General Conference, and has written a book, Big Questions, as well as a number of articles.

Hold your little one’s hand as if you are about to go on a walk. Notice how your hand covers your little one’s and, if their little fingers are large enough, lace your fingers together. Our text for this week is so beautiful—when we are willing to listen and to obey each other, we journey together holding the hand of Jesus, letting Him lead the way. Let love lead the way and, in turn, you will lead in love.

Watch our video for this week. Imagine if the servant chose to not listen to Abraham. What if the servant chose to go to the town next door and took the wonderful presents for himself? The servant chose instead to obey Abraham. The servant chose to ask God for God’s help. We get to choose every day if we will obey. We get to choose if we will ask for God’s help. Let’s read our Words to Remember for this week one last time—but this time we are going to turn it around. “Because you respect Christ be willing to obey each other” (Ephesians 5:21, ICB).

Yesterday I went a bit off topic, but it was worthwhile. I think everyone should have a mentor. If you are still thinking about it, let me encourage you to keep looking for someone. This is not about having someone to tell you how to live; it’s about having someone you can be completely honest with and get some real advice from. There are about to be a ton of changes in your life. Having someone that you trust will be far more useful than you can ever imagine.

But that’s not how I want to end this week. At the beginning I told you that submission is a very controversial topic right now. It wasn’t that long ago that women weren’t allowed to even vote in the U.S., and there are still countries where women aren’t allowed to do all kinds of things. Some people feel like the Bible treats women more like property than like people. I hope we showed you this week that this is not true. I know many people, many who are close in age to you, who have left the church determined to never come back because they feel this way. Whether or not this is on your mind, there are a few things I want you to think about.

1. The Bible is clear that God loves and values everyone. He doesn’t love anyone more or less because of their gender, skin color, or anything else. There are some texts (like the ones that we are looking at this week) that can make it seem like some people are more important than others. But this is a very old book written to very different people who spoke a language that isn’t even used anymore. Not the way it’s currently spoken at least. Sometimes it takes a closer look to see what it’s really trying to say, and when you look closer you will find that God uses everyone in the special way He designed them to be used.

2. I work with a pastor who says “Embrace the tension” a lot. We tend to run away from fighting and disagreement and treat it like it should never happen. In reality, disagreements are needed to find truth. It’s healthy for a church to work through something like this. Our church covers the entire world; of course we don’t all agree. And that’s OK. Give the church room to work through the issues. Be like Jesus and allow people to disagree.

3. Look for God’s leading on your own. With anything, people will tell you what the right way to think is. It’s OK to listen, but in the end all that really matters is if you have asked God to tell you what is right and wrong. I believe God still leads people and leads the church through those people. What really scares me is the idea that people might not be listening to the voice of God. Don’t be one of those people.

Have you ever been the new kid? I’ve been the new kid so many items. After a while, you start noticing that adults will ask certain kids to be nice to you or hang out with you. At first, I never thought about it but once I caught on, I wondered if they were being sincere or not. You know, did they actually like me? Were they doing their parents or my teacher a favor? Did that person want to be my friend? One of the last times I was a new kid was when I moved to Colorado during my freshman year of high school. A girl came up to me and asked if I wanted to have lunch with her. I thought for sure she was doing it because the school secretary knew I was alone. She is now one of my closest friends and promises that no one made her talk to me. She told me she was genuinely interested in getting to know me that day. When we’re sincere with each other, it doesn’t leave us guessing. Being honest is the beginning to building a healthy, loving relationship. You can’t fake love. Christ doesn’t fake His love towards us. So as you enter this weekend, think of a small ways you can be sincere to someone else.

Zan Long is GRC director for faith development groups. She lives in Sydney, Australia, and serves at her local church in nearby Kellyville.
Brandon Kharns is the family life pastor at Placerville Seventh-day Adventist church in the Sierra Nevada foothills of California near Lake Tahoe. 
Vanessa Rivera is a therapist in a community mental health center in Denver, CO, and serves as the lead elder for Live Purpose at Boulder Church.